I’m not good enough, but Jesus is

Author Georgie Brindley

I was a young high school graduate thrust into the big wide world at the beginning of 2018. At 17, I packed my life up and flew from Newcastle, NSW, to Brisbane, QLD, ready to study music at Queensland Conservatorium with Griffith Uni. I knew a total of three people in Brisbane when I moved – an aunt, a cousin, and an old friend from school – and these three all lived up on the north side, while I was moving onto the Griffith campus in Mount Gravatt, on the south side of the river.

Everything in life was changing

It felt like everything in my life was changing all at once, and it was both incredibly exciting and scary. I battled missing friends and family, trying to maintain a struggling long-distance relationship, and feeling inadequate in my degree through my first year of study, but God had his hand on me the whole way through. I read through the book of Psalms that year and found the amazing hope and joy that Jesus brings, even when the circumstances around us are often troubling or rapidly changing. I was looking around Brisbane for a new church to call ‘home’, but it was a long and tiring process, especially having to attend new churches alone.  

Towards the end of the year, a friend from college brought me along to a Gospel Student group connected to Risen Church. This was like a casual bible study on a Tuesday evening, where we would open the Bible and discuss a passage as a group. The leader, Glenn, really struck me as someone who knew the Bible in great depth and wasn’t afraid to ask questions that probed and challenged myself and others in the group. And so, I became connected to Risen Church. 

I was excited when Risen Church started holding Sunday morning meetings in 2019, as this was a routine that I loved from my upbringing and found it to be a great way to feel connected into a community. I began to serve on the music team during some of the church meetings, and I loved using my gifts and knowledge from my degree as a way to serve God and the people of God. 

I wasn’t good enough

When I was at Uni, however, I continued to feel ‘not good enough’ in my degree. I was constantly comparing myself to others, which made me feel intimidated and prevented me from having the confidence to make new friends. I suffered from ‘imposter syndrome’ – feeling that I was at the Conservatorium by mistake and didn’t really deserve my place there. My high expectations for myself, and my failure to meet them, meant that I struggled with my sense of self. I was struggling to keep my head above water. 

When I played violin at church, I could enjoy the experience and use music to bring glory to God. But at the Conservatorium, I am always hung up on ‘getting it right’, and I would always put myself down about mistakes that I made and not find the enjoyment in performing as easily.

My discovery - my identity is found in Jesus

When I started to open up about how I felt to some people I trusted, I was encouraged to keep myself grounded in the truth in the Bible, that my identity is found in Jesus.

There’s nothing I can achieve or fail at that will change that – I am created in the image of God, I am loved, and through Jesus’ death and resurrection, I am rescued from my sin and wrongdoings. I can rest in the knowledge that I am always worthy of love in the eyes of God, and I can walk in confidence when I believe this truth! 

While this is all still an ongoing journey, I know that Jesus walks every step with me. Through Risen Church, I have also been welcomed into a family of supportive and loving people, and my network of connections throughout Brisbane has grown hugely. Brisbane now feels like home, and God has been equipping me to trust him and serve him more and more. And I know he’ll be with me as I walk into the future, no matter what changes my life will hold! I’m not good enough, but Jesus is.  

Georgie

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